Talk About Sex

Martha McCormick on September 20, 2011

Planned Parenthood once told me a woman is lucky if she has only a few unplanned pregnancies during her fertile years. I started menstruating when I was ten, and didn’t stop until I was 55. That gave me 540 opportunities to get pregnant. I wasn’t sexually active all those years, so that cuts it down a lot. Let’s say by two-thirds. Only about 200 chances for pregnancy. Boy, am I lucky to have only one little duck of my own.

Different kinds of birth control have different levels of effectiveness, with even the best being 99%. That looks pretty good, until you realize that even if I do everything right, and plan to have NO children, the odds are I’ll have two babies. I will tell you that, even at 60, these numbers are daunting.

On top of the math, nature has programmed teens to really, really want to have sex. It’s our nature to procreate while we are young. In fact, passing on our genes is our only biological purpose. Just 100 years ago, we could only expect to live 40 years. Lots of babies, and mothers, died in childbirth. No wonder teenagers have sex and babies.

Another issue for me was growing up in a family that didn’t talk about periods, much less s-e-x. I didn’t date in high school, or college really, though I did learn about sex, experientially. Though I prefer hands-on learning, it’s not the best way to learn this particular subject. I do remember a lecture in my sophomore religion class, so we must have had a unit on sex. Sister Mary Alphonse said if you masturbate, you are almost certainly a Lesbian. Though I didn’t know what a Lesbian was, I was sure I didn’t want to be one. I was terrified!

Then, college, the peace movement and “women’s liberation” changed my life. I started working with kids, and suddenly they were asking me questions and confiding in me about sex. So, I learned. I hosted women’s workshops in my tiny house in Cedar Rapids. I taught a very open catechism class for eighth graders. I listened as kids came out to me, and I told them they were ok, and that I still loved them. Even so, I didn’t really understand.

When I came to Des Moines, I began partnering with the adolescent pregnancy prevention coalition. And I began to talk about sex. I began to talk about my own experiences, and eventually I confronted the more painful ones. I talked to kids about their sexuality, and more often I listened. In the process, I became an approachable adult.

Now I’m back in the business of teen sexuality education and pregnancy prevention. I’m working with EyesOpenIowa to develop a peer review process for sex educators. Over the next few months, I’ll share resources for approachable adults. I hope you’ll let me know what you think, and pass the helpful ones on to others. Join me in peeling back our sexy onions.

Go Out and Play!

Martha McCormick on September 16, 2011

Watch my last “We’re Entrepreneurs, We Can Help” show recorded live on July 7, 2011. Ray Morley, Patti Petersen-Keys and I talk about our favorite things to do outdoors–how it feeds our inner kid, and why we want you to come out and play with us.

Patti is the Education Coordinator for Polk County Conservation. Her naturalists have developed programs that engage people from 3 to 93. They’ve developed a series of videos called “Get Outside” that give just enough information to make you actually want to try ice fishing. Or kayaking. Or horseback riding.

Ray has developed a trap shooting program in Ankeny that is expanding to six schools this fall. Listen to the discussion of the benefits of playing outdoors, a variety of opportunities to play outside, and then come out and play with us!

Accept Autumn

Martha McCormick on September 15, 2011

I watched a full moon rise the other night, riding my bike home from yoga. Fall is nearly here. I’m not thinking of snow coming in a few months. I’m not thinking of snow. No snow.

The garage is organized enough to find the snow shovels, but the kayak REALLY needs to learn to hang from the rafters. Is there still time to plant some of those seeds that didn’t make it into the ground last spring?

An irresistible urge to buy new notebooks and pencils. Can I rationalize a new computer and cellphone? When IS that next iPhone coming out???

I am seeking visual order. I tend to be a big-picture person, and very field dependent. so it’s hard for me to function amidst clutter. My daughter moved much of her four-bedroom farmhouse into the Hostel Taco (my house) this summer. She worked hard to put it away, but there seems to have been an explosion in the studio, and I don’t know where to start! I was sorting old photos when spring arrived, and they are still strewn over the red tables. Now other layers are encroaching. Remnants of sewing projects. Candidates for EBay and Craigslist. Ironing??? It’s time to get the house ready to spend more time in. Sort, toss, and drive loads to the DAV.

My grandparents’ lives depended on “putting things by.” I have potatoes to dig, and tomatoes that will surely stay green forever. I hope my tiny volunteer butternut squash will grow to eating size before the first killing frost. Is there still time to put in some fall lettuce and kale? Oh boy! There’s still time. For a couple more days!

I need to establish a new routine after this chaotic summer. Start with morning pages? That feels good. A walk or yoga? Maybe. Time for spiritual connection. I started my painting class with a self portrait I’ve worked on for nearly a year. The Martha looking out at me is angry. I have plans for her.

Plant a Garden

Martha McCormick on June 6, 2011

I’m gardening with the Earth Heroes from Carver Community School‘s Boys and Girls Club this season. When I first saw how little these mostly second graders are, I thought there’s no way they can farm the 20 raised beds at the Des Moines Botanical Center.

But Jose sums it up–“Miss Martha, when I’m special, I work really hard.” And the Earth Heroes ARE special. Really special.

Earth Heroes

Earth Heroes

The second day in the garden, Water Works dumps a big load of compost for us. I look at the kids and I look at the compost, and I think “No Way!” Well, that pile of compost disappears one shovel full. One trowel full. One wheelbarrow full at a time. Not only do they haul it to the beds, they clear weeds and debris from last year’s garden and rake the beds smooth. They plant seeds indoors and outdoors–peas, peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, okra, onions, leeks, lettuce, broccoli, spinach and radishes.

This is the fourth year for the gardeners. So, they have mature beds of asparagus (YUM!) and strawberries. Heres’ what the kids are learning in the garden.

  • Weeding.

    Asparagus is Yummy!

    Asparagus is Yummy!

  • It’s fun to get your hands dirty.
  • Asparagus tastes good.
  • How a worm feels.

Then I read this article about gardening in Detroit, Michigan, and how it’s changing the city. The Earth Heroes’ garden at the Botanical Center is changing the relationship between the neighborhood and the Botanical Center. It’s connecting the school and the community. There’s no vandalism any more. People come down to get a share the produce.

This year, the kids will open a food stand between 4 & 6 pm on Thursday afternoons. So, stop by some Thursday afternoon, and watch a handful of kids changing Des Moines.

Ride Like the Wind

Martha McCormick on May 30, 2011

Last week I signed up for the MS 150 in eastern Kansas. It’s a two-day bike ride to raise money for combatting Multiple Sclerosis. I rode 110 of the 150 miles in 2008, and I hope can do the whole thing this year. I’m definitely in better shape, but I’m just getting on my bike now. I’ve started riding to meetings and yoga class, and I’m going to do at least two long rides each week. I’ve already made it up to 29 mph this year. I do love to ride like the wind.

On my 5/26/2011 Internet radio show, “We’re Entrepreneurs: we can help,” my guests and I talked about biking–trails, training, risk, safety & gear. My guests are experts in various aspects of the subject. The discussion was inspiring.

Andrea Chase is Trail Coordinator at the Iowa Natural Heritage Foundation. She talked about the huge contribution INHF has made to transforming Iowa into the Trails Capitol of the World. The INHF has secured more than 750 miles of trails, mostly reclaiming old railroad rights-of-way. The latest trail opening got a lot of attention–the High Trestle Trail runs between five towns in four counties–Ankeny, Sheldahl, Slater, Madrid and Woodward.

Dan Koenig owns Ichi Bike in Des Moines’ East Village. I first met him at the KWAKers Community Party at Merrill Middle School. He revamps old bikes, retools broken skate boards into banana seats, and sells the coolest helmets I’ve seen. Dan is all about getting back into the fun of biking.

WEWCH was Jeri Neal’s first gig as Board President of the Iowa Bicycle Coalition, a group that formed in 2007 to advocate for cyclists and our right to ride. Jeri shares this for all of us–

I hope I’ll see you out on the trails, or riding to work or school this summer!

Honor Your Mother

Martha McCormick on April 8, 2011

Procrastination? Grandiosity? Too many balls in the air? I had the idea at one point to post on “woman in history” each day last month. Now we are 8 days into April, and I am finishing this post that I started more than 2 weeks ago. Hence, instead of celebrating Women’s History Month (each March), we are preparing to honor our mothers (a weekend in May).

We lost two women who made history last month–Elizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro. Two women on very different ends of the spectrum. I think their deaths and their lives give a glimpse of the breadth and depth of the contributions of women, even over the last 60 years.

Years ago, we co-sponsored a Women’s History Month contest for people to celebrate a woman important to them. It was pretty cool. I still have the tee shirt. I think my daughter was about 10 years old. Now she IS a woman of history. She is a teacher at Scattergood Friends School, a little known place where women have made Iowa history.

We have good reason to celebrate the heroic mothers and women who have taken charge. So, here are some women to celebrate this month. How about making every month, not just March, Women’s History Month.

Fight Poverty

Martha McCormick on March 28, 2011

The Community Action Poverty Simulation Kit from Missouri Association for Community Action provides a glimpse into the challenges individuals and families in poverty face every day. I purchased a kit in 2011, and am facilitating a simulation in West Des Moines in November. I helped out with poverty simulations in their early years at Iowa State University, and recognized some of their power for changing the way we view those who face each month without sufficient resources to make it through.

This morning I had a flash of realization as I wrote the marketing brochure for the program. This new program does have the capacity for system change. Perhaps we can stop blaming the victims, and take steps to “provide a decent standard of living for all mankind,” in Norman Borlaug‘s words.

I’ve spent a little time in Zambia, where I stayed with a family much poorer than any I know here. Their generosity touched my heart deeply, but they are not my neighbors. There is a limit to how much I can help them.

Here in Iowa, within a few miles of my home, there are thousands of people barely getting by day to day in the richest country in history. Yet, we show little generosity to them. In fact, we often hold them in contempt.

John F. Kennedy said, “The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life.” Even more than 50 years after his death, we have made little progress toward abolishing poverty. Indeed, we have gone backward.

I offer this post as a resource for connecting with knowledge and research, opportunities to help, and opportunities to advocate. Please help me build it, with links and ideas I may have missed.

 

Turn the Radio On

Martha McCormick on February 25, 2011

Well, actually learn about social marketing. (Our radio show, though short-lived was a lot of fun, and even though it’s offline now, there’s some good stuff in this post) So read on…

Ben Stone gave us a lovely compliment, “Two Baby Boomers (three actually counting our producer Anne Larson) doing an Internet radio show gives me hope.” Ben owns RPO Consulting, and though he considers himself an HR guy (I know), he finds himself working more and more on helping people use social media effectively. The nuggets I’m still chewing on (along with my GORP) are these–

Facebook and Twitter are about relationships, not eyeballs.

When you use social media, imagine yourself traveling in another country; you have to learn the customs, the geography. You have to try the food and explore the culture to get the most from the experience.

I’ll keep those thoughts in mind as I develop my blog, content on my YouTube account and figure out how to make Twitter work for me and Next Step. We also discussed generational differences in how we use social media. Three generations of entrepreneurs were represented on the show–Ben Stone (Generation X), Talia Leman (Gen Y), Bruce Lehnertz and me (Boomers).

Talia is a sophomore in high school, but has accomplished more already than I ever hope to. Well, I can hope! About six years ago, she was inspired to start the wildly successful organization RandomKid.org after she organized a trick-or-treat event to raise money to help victims of a storm in Ghana. That experience showed her the power of young people, and now she is unleashing it on the world . The global (20 countries with about 12 million? members) uses the Internet to provide youth the opportunity to safely collaborate with kids at other schools, and with people on the ground who work on behalf of their fundraising efforts, and help them achieve their goals.

Collaboration again emerges a high priority for entrepreneurs in all kinds of endeavors, whether agriculture and retail or cooking. Our conversation with Talia and Ben cemented my impression of the younger generations–they will find and create and enact solutions for the many problems that confront us. That gives me hope.

Push the Edge

Martha McCormick on February 17, 2011

We just did our fifth, Internet-based radio show–We’re Entrepreneurs. We Can Help–Women on the Edge. For several months, I played around with the idea of a weekly radio show. Then last fall I asked my friends Anne Larson and Bruce Lehnertz if they were interested in collaborating with me on it. They both trust me way more than they should, and said “sure!”

Well, two months and a lot of gray hairs later (not mine, mind you. at least I’m not admitting it), we’ve got a few not-so-great, and two very good shows under our belt and on Des Moines Amplified. The concept is to facilitate a discussion with local folks who are stepping out on the edge–starting businesses, hatching new ideas, solving problems, offering resources. In short, doing the deal. I described the concept to a friend at lunch yesterday, and she said, “It sounds progressive.” That’s what we’re going for.

Progressive. Creative. Upbeat. Fun.

Today I visited with two women entrepreneurs in areas traditionally dominated by males–LeAnn Ely owns Terre d’Esprit Farm, where she raises meat goats. One of her mentors told her not to do it, and that just made her want to prove she could. She said the challenges often come from unexpected sources–her customers, who may not be accustomed to dealing with businesswomen. And the government, which often insists on talking to her husband! In addition to her goat farm, LeAnn is raising a family and working a full time job. Talk about multi-tasking!

Kenna Neighbors recently opened Seed, an urban garden shop in the Des Moines’ East Village. It’s her second business, and she is wildly successful! She started her landscape business a while ago, and now has 27 employees (LeAnn has about 27 goats. hmmmmm) After trying jobs in retail, Kenna decided, “I’m just not a pantyhose kind of girl.” Like many women, she started her company after fleeing a wreck of a marriage and wondering, “How am I going to feed my kids?” along with a love for digging in the dirt. She blew a horse manure source’s mind by lifting a handful up to her nose. “This is what I want!”

Talking with Kenna and LeAnn made me even more excited about doing the show, and about my own business. I’m still not sure what radio has to do with Next Step, but I’m pretty sure that more will be revealed. I think I was a frustrated entrepreneur for all those years I worked for Iowa State University, and I’m grateful they put up with me. But I was always on the edge of the organization, and now I’m learning why. In yoga, we talk about pushing the edge. Women start about twice as many businesses as men; maybe we’re just more compelled to go out on that edge.

Salute the Sun

Martha McCormick on January 1, 2011

Yesterday I did 108 Sun Salutations with about a dozen other women at Shakti Yoga Shop. It was challenging, but went by surprisingly fast. One of the first things we asked was the significance of 108. The answer took up about 3 pages, and included–

…which brings us back to saluting the sun. Winter solstice is less than 2 weeks behind us. It is my favorite day of the year: it marks the day when daylight begins to lengthen. I can only imagine our earliest forbears watching the dwindling light and heat, fearing it was the end of the world, developing ceremonies and bargains to make the sun return for a year.

We continue many of those traditions around the holidays. Lighting candles, bringing in greenery, putting up Christmas lights. On this first day — 1/1/11, I hope for a lighter year, for peaceful, brighter days. I hope for clarity on the problems facing our planet. Perhaps by saluting the sun, still the source of life, we can perhaps begin to mend the earth.