Category: Communication

At the end of August, Kate and I drove to New York City. The trip was going smoothly as we approached the exit toward Brooklyn where a worker and three orange cones blocked the way. “Closed due to flooding,” Hurricane Irene whirled through the city about a week before we did.

“I’m going with the flow this trip,” but as we got ourselves un-lost in the unmarked streets in urban New Jersey, and flew along upper levels of the freeway, it was hard to believe my driving skills were up to the challenge. Riding the subway during rush hour on my first trip to NYC in 1976 wasn’t nearly so stressful. Overwhelmed by the crush, a native turned to me, “just go with the flow.”

That’s a very different kind of flow than Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described in his 1991 book, Flow. He heads the Quality of Life Research Center at Claremont University in California. This TED talk is a great introduction to the requirements of flow. A key element of happiness, anyone can experience flow.

We are in flow when we’re completely engrossed in what we’re doing. When the challenge of the task matches our abilities to meet that challenge. It can happen in work or off the job.

It’s our job in adventure programming to create flow. To give participants challenges they can achieve, but that will take them out of their comfort zone. help them suspend disbelief. Eric taught me a lot about the time factor in facilitating. It’s better to end early than even a little late. People won’t stay engaged when they’re worrying about the time. Concluding and reflecting only happen while people are fully engaged.

I always want to do what I’m doing until I’m done, to do just one more thing. When Kate was growing up, and we were running late as we often did, we would say “time is not only relative, but simply an invention to keep everything from happening at once.”

Blue Zones research recommends we designate a “flow room” where we can immerse ourselves in activities that consume our attention. I plan to organize my studio to be the center for painting, sewing and projects that I originally envisioned, rather than the catchall it’s become. The last two days, I’ve painted the jetties, and the row of green umbrellas lining the beach. The first day was stormy at sea, and my painting is stormy too. For me, that painting captures the connection between creativity and flow.

Flow comes when our work makes us happy, contributes to society, and is its own reward. I’ve experienced it writing a grant that fit perfectly the organization’s mission. The feeling the grant was writing itself. I didn’t have to pull at the words like taffy.

When I’m out in my kayak, I totally lose track of time. I’m not distracted. I don’t check the clock. I’m not afraid. I’m exhilarated. That’s flow.

Well, actually learn about social marketing. (Our radio show, though short-lived was a lot of fun, and even though it’s offline now, there’s some good stuff in this post) So read on…

Ben Stone gave us a lovely compliment, “Two Baby Boomers (three actually counting our producer Anne Larson) doing an Internet radio show gives me hope.” Ben owns RPO Consulting, and though he considers himself an HR guy (I know), he finds himself working more and more on helping people use social media effectively. The nuggets I’m still chewing on (along with my GORP) are these–

Facebook and Twitter are about relationships, not eyeballs.

When you use social media, imagine yourself traveling in another country; you have to learn the customs, the geography. You have to try the food and explore the culture to get the most from the experience.

I’ll keep those thoughts in mind as I develop my blog, content on my YouTube account and figure out how to make Twitter work for me and Next Step. We also discussed generational differences in how we use social media. Three generations of entrepreneurs were represented on the show–Ben Stone (Generation X), Talia Leman (Gen Y), Bruce Lehnertz and me (Boomers).

Talia is a sophomore in high school, but has accomplished more already than I ever hope to. Well, I can hope! About six years ago, she was inspired to start the wildly successful organization RandomKid.org after she organized a trick-or-treat event to raise money to help victims of a storm in Ghana. That experience showed her the power of young people, and now she is unleashing it on the world . The global (20 countries with about 12 million? members) uses the Internet to provide youth the opportunity to safely collaborate with kids at other schools, and with people on the ground who work on behalf of their fundraising efforts, and help them achieve their goals.

Collaboration again emerges a high priority for entrepreneurs in all kinds of endeavors, whether agriculture and retail or cooking. Our conversation with Talia and Ben cemented my impression of the younger generations–they will find and create and enact solutions for the many problems that confront us. That gives me hope.

After reading and re-reading my favorite horse books–Misty of Chincoteague, Black Beauty and My Friend Flicka–I bought a horse when I was in college. Well, actually two horses. The first was a green-broke Arabian gelding named Pegasus. He managed to throw me in the ditch each time I rode him, so I traded Peg for a pony named Butterscotch. At least when he bucked me off, it wasn’t as far to the ground!

Girls often are fascinated with horses; the romance and intrigue is rooted in reality though; studies show that girls’ self esteem is boosted through a relationship with horses. Bonding with a horse can develop trust, respect, affection, empathy, unconditional acceptance, confidence, responsibility, assertiveness, communication skills and self-control. Horse therapy can help young teens deal with substance abuse, eating disorders, attachment and bonding problems, low self esteem, defiance and depression.

The Jester Park Equestrian Center (JPEC) programs help teens build self confidence through horsemanship, horse safety and learning to read a horse’s temperament. The experience helps mold stronger teens who are good team members. JPEC also offers wagon rides, bonfires and teambuilding programs for groups. Email Debby Crowley or call her at 515 999-2818 for more information or to schedule your group for a program. Here’s what some JPEC riders have said:

• “…learned to let go of my fears”
• “You have to be patient with some things because I had to be patient with horses.”
• “…and when I got home I was really tired and smelly but it was fun.”

Other horseback riding opportunities in the area are offered at:

• Valley Park Stables in Des Moines
• Stillwater Stables in Bondurant

It’s always interesting to find out more about yourself. I think that’s what life is really about–finding out who we are and then becoming the best of that. So, whether it’s the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or the Chinese Horoscope (I’m a Tiger, rrrawrrr) on your placemat at your favorite ethnic restaurant, it’s fun to look at what it says about you and decide whether it fits or not.

Here are some links to quizzes that can provide some insight to your preferred personality, learning, thinking, relationship styles. Follow the links for free or inexpensive web-based assessment tools–

• The Color Code Personality Test
• Interactive Learning Styles Test –This survey is sponsored by the Institute for Learning Styles Research
• This Index of Learning Styles has links to a 44-item questionnaire, articles & frequently asked questions.
• This one takes the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and pairs each type with an animal. It’s fun!

Some of the above are research sites; some may be more scientific and reliable than others. Please use your best judgement as you explore your inner tiger, boar or rooster!