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At the end of August, Kate and I drove to New York City. The trip was going smoothly as we approached the exit toward Brooklyn where a worker and three orange cones blocked the way. “Closed due to flooding,” Hurricane Irene whirled through the city about a week before we did.
“I’m going with the flow this trip,” but as we got ourselves un-lost in the unmarked streets in urban New Jersey, and flew along upper levels of the freeway, it was hard to believe my driving skills were up to the challenge. Riding the subway during rush hour on my first trip to NYC in 1976 wasn’t nearly so stressful. Overwhelmed by the crush, a native turned to me, “just go with the flow.”
That’s a very different kind of flow than Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described in his 1991 book, Flow. He heads the Quality of Life Research Center at Claremont University in California. This TED talk is a great introduction to the requirements of flow. A key element of happiness, anyone can experience flow.
We are in flow when we’re completely engrossed in what we’re doing. When the challenge of the task matches our abilities to meet that challenge. It can happen in work or off the job.
It’s our job in adventure programming to create flow. To give participants challenges they can achieve, but that will take them out of their comfort zone. help them suspend disbelief. Eric taught me a lot about the time factor in facilitating. It’s better to end early than even a little late. People won’t stay engaged when they’re worrying about the time. Concluding and reflecting only happen while people are fully engaged.
I always want to do what I’m doing until I’m done, to do just one more thing. When Kate was growing up, and we were running late as we often did, we would say “time is not only relative, but simply an invention to keep everything from happening at once.”
Blue Zones research recommends we designate a “flow room” where we can immerse ourselves in activities that consume our attention. I plan to organize my studio to be the center for painting, sewing and projects that I originally envisioned, rather than the catchall it’s become. The last two days, I’ve painted the jetties, and the row of green umbrellas lining the beach. The first day was stormy at sea, and my painting is stormy too. For me, that painting captures the connection between creativity and flow.
Flow comes when our work makes us happy, contributes to society, and is its own reward. I’ve experienced it writing a grant that fit perfectly the organization’s mission. The feeling the grant was writing itself. I didn’t have to pull at the words like taffy.
When I’m out in my kayak, I totally lose track of time. I’m not distracted. I don’t check the clock. I’m not afraid. I’m exhilarated. That’s flow.
“Mind the gap” was the theme of the John Friend yoga workshop I attended a couple weeks ago. The message is that what happens between, is what’s important. Between inhaling and exhaling. Between the busy-ness and the being-ness. Between the effort and the letting go. The subways in London warn you to “Mind the Gap.” In NYC, you are to “Watch the Gap.” Not nearly as poetic, nor as relevant.
Watching implies seeing, but if you mind something, you do more than just see it. You pay attention. You listen. You ponder what it means. You take responsibility. You mind the children. You mind your parents. The dictionary says you “regard as important and worthy of attention.” That’s exactly what Friend had in mind at “Dancing with the Divine.”
I’ve been practicing yoga at Shakti Yoga Shop for nearly two years. It is an Anusara shop, and John Friend is the founder of this particular branch of yoga. His visit to Iowa was a chance to learn from the guru. I went with a certain cynicism. My expectations were low, but he was amazing, and far exceeded those expectations.
Friend has a quirky sense of humor, and a depth of knowledge about a broad range of astrophysics to zoology. One of the funniest bits was when he gave us a physical demonstration of how humans are the only critters with shoulder muscles. The message was clear. We’ve got them so we need to develop them. He talked quite a bit about what we do with our bodies has a nearly immediate effect on evolution. Our genes remember our behavior.
On that Saturday afternoon, Friend talked about the increasing weight of the self-help book section addressing mindfulness. It’s a good thing, but these books usually focus on minding what you are doing or what’s happening. If you’re minding the gap, you’re paying attention to what’s not happening. On the resting. On the being, not just the doing.
Friday morning when I called my mentor, I was in a dither. The condition of the house was interfering with my serenity in a big way. She told me “go outside. Not to do something, not to make a list of what you need to do, just to be.”
I sat down in my hammock, with my phone still to my ear, and immediately felt the weight lift. Pat said she felt tears come to her eyes, hearing the relief in my voice. I minded the gap. First I had to create it. Then I paid attention to it. I lay down and looked up at the bright blue gap between the Locust and Pin Oak trees above me. And I minded it.
Afterwards I was able to return to the busy-ness of the day, to put things away, organize the house. And I was able to find some more gaps and mind them too.
I love service learning. It’s fun to help kids help people, in preschools, retirement communities, parks and gardens. Service learning is a respected way to get kids involved in their own educations.
But it’s not just about doing projects that help communities. For service learning to be valuable to young people as well as to the people they work with, we have to involve them in every step of every project–investigation, planning, action, reflection, demonstration and celebration.
After Global Youth Service Day last spring, Jessica Krough, Melissa Simmermaker of the Iowa Commission on Volunteer Service, and I talked about innovative ways to reflect on the state-wide day of service. We decided to experiment with Internet based radio to bring kids together from different GYSD projects around the state. About eight kids joined me on my show, “We’re Entrepreneurs–we can help.” Three of my Earth Heroes, and two students from the Hoover High School STARS program came to the studio. Two students from Lamoni Middle School and their facilitator joined us by Skype.
The Earth Heroes talked about the ongoing project they’re doing for Global Youth Service Day. Jessica visited the garden, and helped them read the Governor’s Proclamation. They were still clearing the garden, building their dragon, and planting vegetables.
As Kyla, Terrance, I work with the Earth Heroes at the Des Moines Botanical Center, we talk about
Here is some of their wisdom–
The Earth Heroes walk down the hill from Boys and Girls Club at Carver Community School to the Botanical Center, and we form a circle. The kids know the FIRST thing we do is the “Name Wave.” The kids lead the Wave, starting with everyone yelling out their name as loud as they can. Then come “compliments and appreciations,” a chance for everyone to say thank you, and talk about what we like.
It’s September, and the 2nd through 5th graders are harvesting squash, pumpkins, watermelon, beans, tomatoes, okra, onions, potatoes, peppers and sunflower seeds to take home. Any gardener knows fall is time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t, what got done, and what didn’t. What was lost? Where did the summer go?
So, they’re taking photos in the gardens, and next week we’ll create a map of each of the 20 ten-foot X 10-foot raised beds, making notes about what grew, crops that worked well together, and what the Heroes learned from experiments with okra, mulching, and fall planting.
Service learning is a powerful way for young people to find relevance in education, dream about the future, and change the world.
Planned Parenthood once told me a woman is lucky if she has only a few unplanned pregnancies during her fertile years. I started menstruating when I was ten, and didn’t stop until I was 55. That gave me 540 opportunities to get pregnant. I wasn’t sexually active all those years, so that cuts it down a lot. Let’s say by two-thirds. Only about 200 chances for pregnancy. Boy, am I lucky to have only one little duck of my own.
Different kinds of birth control have different levels of effectiveness, with even the best being 99%. That looks pretty good, until you realize that even if I do everything right, and plan to have NO children, the odds are I’ll have two babies. I will tell you that, even at 60, these numbers are daunting.
On top of the math, nature has programmed teens to really, really want to have sex. It’s our nature to procreate while we are young. In fact, passing on our genes is our only biological purpose. Just 100 years ago, we could only expect to live 40 years. Lots of babies, and mothers, died in childbirth. No wonder teenagers have sex and babies.
Another issue for me was growing up in a family that didn’t talk about periods, much less s-e-x. I didn’t date in high school, or college really, though I did learn about sex, experientially. Though I prefer hands-on learning, it’s not the best way to learn this particular subject. I do remember a lecture in my sophomore religion class, so we must have had a unit on sex. Sister Mary Alphonse said if you masturbate, you are almost certainly a Lesbian. Though I didn’t know what a Lesbian was, I was sure I didn’t want to be one. I was terrified!
Then, college, the peace movement and “women’s liberation” changed my life. I started working with kids, and suddenly they were asking me questions and confiding in me about sex. So, I learned. I hosted women’s workshops in my tiny house in Cedar Rapids. I taught a very open catechism class for eighth graders. I listened as kids came out to me, and I told them they were ok, and that I still loved them. Even so, I didn’t really understand.
When I came to Des Moines, I began partnering with the adolescent pregnancy prevention coalition. And I began to talk about sex. I began to talk about my own experiences, and eventually I confronted the more painful ones. I talked to kids about their sexuality, and more often I listened. In the process, I became an approachable adult.
Now I’m back in the business of teen sexuality education and pregnancy prevention. I’m working with EyesOpenIowa to develop a peer review process for sex educators. Over the next few months, I’ll share resources for approachable adults. I hope you’ll let me know what you think, and pass the helpful ones on to others. Join me in peeling back our sexy onions.
Watch my last “We’re Entrepreneurs, We Can Help” show recorded live on July 7, 2011. Ray Morley, Patti Petersen-Keys and I talk about our favorite things to do outdoors–how it feeds our inner kid, and why we want you to come out and play with us.
Patti is the Education Coordinator for Polk County Conservation. Her naturalists have developed programs that engage people from 3 to 93. They’ve developed a series of videos called “Get Outside” that give just enough information to make you actually want to try ice fishing. Or kayaking. Or horseback riding.
Ray has developed a trap shooting program in Ankeny that is expanding to six schools this fall. Listen to the discussion of the benefits of playing outdoors, a variety of opportunities to play outside, and then come out and play with us!
I watched a full moon rise the other night, riding my bike home from yoga. Fall is nearly here. I’m not thinking of snow coming in a few months. I’m not thinking of snow. No snow.
The garage is organized enough to find the snow shovels, but the kayak REALLY needs to learn to hang from the rafters. Is there still time to plant some of those seeds that didn’t make it into the ground last spring?
An irresistible urge to buy new notebooks and pencils. Can I rationalize a new computer and cellphone? When IS that next iPhone coming out???
I am seeking visual order. I tend to be a big-picture person, and very field dependent. so it’s hard for me to function amidst clutter. My daughter moved much of her four-bedroom farmhouse into the Hostel Taco (my house) this summer. She worked hard to put it away, but there seems to have been an explosion in the studio, and I don’t know where to start! I was sorting old photos when spring arrived, and they are still strewn over the red tables. Now other layers are encroaching. Remnants of sewing projects. Candidates for EBay and Craigslist. Ironing??? It’s time to get the house ready to spend more time in. Sort, toss, and drive loads to the DAV.
My grandparents’ lives depended on “putting things by.” I have potatoes to dig, and tomatoes that will surely stay green forever. I hope my tiny volunteer butternut squash will grow to eating size before the first killing frost. Is there still time to put in some fall lettuce and kale? Oh boy! There’s still time. For a couple more days!
I need to establish a new routine after this chaotic summer. Start with morning pages? That feels good. A walk or yoga? Maybe. Time for spiritual connection. I started my painting class with a self portrait I’ve worked on for nearly a year. The Martha looking out at me is angry. I have plans for her.
I’m gardening with the Earth Heroes from Carver Community School‘s Boys and Girls Club this season. When I first saw how little these mostly second graders are, I thought there’s no way they can farm the 20 raised beds at the Des Moines Botanical Center.
But Jose sums it up–“Miss Martha, when I’m special, I work really hard.” And the Earth Heroes ARE special. Really special.
Earth Heroes
The second day in the garden, Water Works dumps a big load of compost for us. I look at the kids and I look at the compost, and I think “No Way!” Well, that pile of compost disappears one shovel full. One trowel full. One wheelbarrow full at a time. Not only do they haul it to the beds, they clear weeds and debris from last year’s garden and rake the beds smooth. They plant seeds indoors and outdoors–peas, peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, okra, onions, leeks, lettuce, broccoli, spinach and radishes.
This is the fourth year for the gardeners. So, they have mature beds of asparagus (YUM!) and strawberries. Heres’ what the kids are learning in the garden.
Asparagus is Yummy!
Then I read this article about gardening in Detroit, Michigan, and how it’s changing the city. The Earth Heroes’ garden at the Botanical Center is changing the relationship between the neighborhood and the Botanical Center. It’s connecting the school and the community. There’s no vandalism any more. People come down to get a share the produce.
This year, the kids will open a food stand between 4 & 6 pm on Thursday afternoons. So, stop by some Thursday afternoon, and watch a handful of kids changing Des Moines.
Last week I signed up for the MS 150 in eastern Kansas. It’s a two-day bike ride to raise money for combatting Multiple Sclerosis. I rode 110 of the 150 miles in 2008, and I hope can do the whole thing this year. I’m definitely in better shape, but I’m just getting on my bike now. I’ve started riding to meetings and yoga class, and I’m going to do at least two long rides each week. I’ve already made it up to 29 mph this year. I do love to ride like the wind.
On my 5/26/2011 Internet radio show, “We’re Entrepreneurs: we can help,” my guests and I talked about biking–trails, training, risk, safety & gear. My guests are experts in various aspects of the subject. The discussion was inspiring.
Andrea Chase is Trail Coordinator at the Iowa Natural Heritage Foundation. She talked about the huge contribution INHF has made to transforming Iowa into the Trails Capitol of the World. The INHF has secured more than 750 miles of trails, mostly reclaiming old railroad rights-of-way. The latest trail opening got a lot of attention–the High Trestle Trail runs between five towns in four counties–Ankeny, Sheldahl, Slater, Madrid and Woodward.
Dan Koenig owns Ichi Bike in Des Moines’ East Village. I first met him at the KWAKers Community Party at Merrill Middle School. He revamps old bikes, retools broken skate boards into banana seats, and sells the coolest helmets I’ve seen. Dan is all about getting back into the fun of biking.
WEWCH was Jeri Neal’s first gig as Board President of the Iowa Bicycle Coalition, a group that formed in 2007 to advocate for cyclists and our right to ride. Jeri shares this for all of us–
I hope I’ll see you out on the trails, or riding to work or school this summer!
Procrastination? Grandiosity? Too many balls in the air? I had the idea at one point to post on “woman in history” each day last month. Now we are 8 days into April, and I am finishing this post that I started more than 2 weeks ago. Hence, instead of celebrating Women’s History Month (each March), we are preparing to honor our mothers (a weekend in May).
We lost two women who made history last month–Elizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro. Two women on very different ends of the spectrum. I think their deaths and their lives give a glimpse of the breadth and depth of the contributions of women, even over the last 60 years.
Years ago, we co-sponsored a Women’s History Month contest for people to celebrate a woman important to them. It was pretty cool. I still have the tee shirt. I think my daughter was about 10 years old. Now she IS a woman of history. She is a teacher at Scattergood Friends School, a little known place where women have made Iowa history.
We have good reason to celebrate the heroic mothers and women who have taken charge. So, here are some women to celebrate this month. How about making every month, not just March, Women’s History Month.
The Community Action Poverty Simulation Kit from Missouri Association for Community Action provides a glimpse into the challenges individuals and families in poverty face every day. I purchased a kit in 2011, and am facilitating a simulation in West Des Moines in November. I helped out with poverty simulations in their early years at Iowa State University, and recognized some of their power for changing the way we view those who face each month without sufficient resources to make it through.
This morning I had a flash of realization as I wrote the marketing brochure for the program. This new program does have the capacity for system change. Perhaps we can stop blaming the victims, and take steps to “provide a decent standard of living for all mankind,” in Norman Borlaug‘s words.
I’ve spent a little time in Zambia, where I stayed with a family much poorer than any I know here. Their generosity touched my heart deeply, but they are not my neighbors. There is a limit to how much I can help them.
Here in Iowa, within a few miles of my home, there are thousands of people barely getting by day to day in the richest country in history. Yet, we show little generosity to them. In fact, we often hold them in contempt.
John F. Kennedy said, “The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life.” Even more than 50 years after his death, we have made little progress toward abolishing poverty. Indeed, we have gone backward.
I offer this post as a resource for connecting with knowledge and research, opportunities to help, and opportunities to advocate. Please help me build it, with links and ideas I may have missed.
