What’s going on?

My theory is that men, on some subconscious level, are reacting to women’s economic and political gains over the last 45 years. Remember that women didn’t have the right to vote in the US until 1920. My mom was five years old then. Women haven’t even had the vote for four full generations yet.

I was alive and awake for the women’s movement in the late 60s and early 70s. I didn’t burn any bras, but I sure don’t miss the other restrictions I grew up with. I was an honor student in high school, but it was very clear that my career choices were nursing, teaching, motherhood, and office work. I went to college expecting to find a husband and get a teaching certificate to “fall back on.” What a rude awakening when no husband showed up, and I hated teaching. Looking back, though, thank goodness. Otherwise, I’d never have learned to fly.

My anger is directed at men of the Baby Boom generation, who have benefited from the sexual freedom women felt when the pill became available. Mine is the first generation with a reliable means of birth control, able to enjoy sex without always worrying about unwanted pregnancies. Some of the same men who would make a woman pay for her own birth control, have exercised sexual freedom without recrimination for years, and famously. The only way I can make sense of it is to look at the bigger picture—the rising majority of educated women and people of color coming over the horizon in the next few decades.

China and India are nipping at western heels. Chancellor Angela Merkel, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor have blasted through the glass ceiling. We have a Black President. Fight or flight provides the natural choice when we are threatened. But where’s a white man to go? Now don’t get me wrong. I have sympathy for some confusion when it comes to gender roles. What I will not tolerate is the scapegoating of women and other oppressed groups.

What’s a woman to do?

My approach, after a little ranting, is to ask, “How do we move forward?” I have some ideas, and here are a couple to start—

• REALLY listen to people. There’s a guy in my art class that’s always spouting off political views I find absurd. I’ve reacted angrily before, but now I find something amusing if I can’t find a kernel of truth. I’ve asked him to help open my paint tubes, and I work at seeing his good—he loves his granddaughters, and he practices yoga.

• Read history. I’m looking forward to reading Catherine the Great, and finding out how many of the legends about her life are really true. She and Cleopatra, another powerful woman, have been rumored as ultra-sexual beings. Maybe their lives provide some clues to our current dilemma.

How about you? How will you move forward?

Still, the wonder outweighs the gross factor. A couple years ago I applied to the National Wildlife Federation to make my yard an official wildlife refuge. I have all the requirements—food, cover, and water, and I won the designation. But I haven’t posted the sign; I don’t want the deer to think I really WANT them back there!

It all began when we tore out the pool and deck, and could finally SEE the back yard. I set up a bird feeding station, where we feed suet, safflower, thistle, and a mix all year. In the spring I try like crazy to entice Baltimore Orioles with oranges, jelly and syrup, but so far they just flash through the woods. When they’re gone, I put out a couple hummingbird feeders. The Ruby-Throated Hummingbirds are fiercest of all.

It’s at least as important to provide water as food. I love watching birds splash around in my little stream in the warmer months, and I have a heated birdbath in front in winter.

One of the lessons in the 2nd Grade Clean and Green program I’m designing for Keep Iowa Beautiful is called “Celebrate Urban Birds.” Teachers use the activities to help kids understand how green spaces in neighborhoods affect birds, and use math skills of sorting, grouping, counting and adding. Another lesson is called “Birds of a Feather,” and teaches several concepts by having kids identify with eagles, robins, goldfinches or crows.

Classrooms can expand on the lesson by participating in the Great Backyard Bird Count. This year it’s February 17-20, 2012. I’m going to use the video and other resources at this link to prepare for counting birds in my backyard, but you can count in a schoolyard, park or anywhere. Here’s another video that chronicles nature photography over the decades. It’s actually what got me started on this post when it showed up in my mailbox this morning.

Last winter, the Decorah eagles were an international hit. Over the last couple weeks, they’ve begun getting their nest ready for a family. It’s entertaining to watch the female carefully place a stick, only to have the male move it to the other side of the nest. Last year the eggs hatched around April first, and you can get in on the travels of one of last year’s hatchlings here. Feeding time may be difficult for the tenderhearted, but watching nature gives a perspective on reality you can’t get any other way.

November and the holidays are all about reaching out and connecting. This time of year does bring up some stuff, as do sickness and loss. A couple old friends and I broke china, shouted, and got past family resentments so they can connect with their father, who has cancer, and needs to tell his story, forgive, and ask for forgiveness over the next couple years. They want to mend their family connections, and are working hard to do it.

When I reported on Healthy Polk 2020, Priority #8, to the Polk County Board of Health, I emphasized connecting and reaching out. Few people on my expert team were connected before. They weren’t the “usual suspects” who guide community action in central Iowa. I interviewed each of them before we met, and used each unique perspective throughout the process. At the first meeting I put toys out, used computer key intros, played “Get on the Bus.” They shared their bios to ensure connection beyond the task at hand.

At the Iowa Non-Profit Summit, I facilitated a panel of Gerry Schnepf, Elvin McDonald, and Jan Herke. When Elvin began as Director of the Friends of the Botanical Center, the Board complained of littering and vandalism on the grounds. Elvin reached out to the school up the hill, and now the Boys & Girls Club brings kids down every week to garden 20 ten-by-ten-foot raised beds. They pick up litter on their way, and vandalism has not been a problem since.

Jan talked about Youth in Parks, a program that’s been going strong since I worked with Urbandale, West Des Moines and Ankeny on a partnership that continues to plan, train and evaluate the program together. They connect hundreds of middle school kids with service opportunities in parks, nursing homes, and day cares.

Gerry talked about how service learning connects kids to communities, so much that some research indicates they’re more likely to stay put when they’re grown. Keep Iowa Beautiful is developing Clean and Green, based on service learning and place-based education. Both of these approaches connect kids and schools with the communities around them.

LucyKate is studying Independent School Leadership at Teachers College, Columbia University. Over the holiday, we talked about education and relationships a lot. We watched this wonderful TEDx video with Brene Brown. Could vulnerability really be the key to connections? What do you think?

The city recently opened the Historic Park Inn, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright and meticulously restored to the tune of about $20M. It is amazing! Besides the hotel, Frank Lloyd Wright’s Stockman House is a great example of the Prairie School of architecture. On Friday we walked through a neighborhood just east of downtown of well-preserved homes from the late 19^th and early 20^th centuries. The area includes Prairie, Craftsman, and Victorian styles. There are brass plaques embedded in the sidewalks with the name of the architect, the year the home was built, and the style of architecture.

We were pleasantly impressed by the vibe of Mason City. We ate three excellent meals at three very fine local restaurants. My favorite was Ralph’s Garden Café. After going longer than usual without caffeine, the latte was satisfying indeed. My caramel roll reminded me of the ones my mom made. Each member of my family has his or her own version, so my standards are high. I didn’t expect that the local food movement had reached a town in northern Iowa. But Ralph’s is all about it. They are able to get nearly all their meat and eggs within 30 miles, and buy as much other food locally as possible.

Mason City’s other claim to fame is the boyhood home of “The Music Man.” Meredith Willson grew up there, and Tim and I both worked backstage on our high school productions of his famous play. We walked the footbridge over Willow Creek, but Tim drew the line at the tour of “Music Man Square.” Next time.

When we visited Florida last month, I did two landscapes on the beach. I put my apron over my swimsuit, set up my plein air easel, and voila. Because the scene changes so quickly–people and umbrellas move, the light changes—there’s no pressure to take the time to get it down perfectly. I feel I captured the stormy feeling of the sky, and the carefree attitude of the coast.

A couple years ago, I made a trip to Greece and Turkey I had dreamed about since I was about twelve, and read “The Moonspinners.” My daughter and I explored Delphi, the Acropolis, and Meteora, archeological sites that inspired my childhood interest in Greek myths.

Though famously struggling these days, Greece has preserved its culture, identity, religion and homeland through Turkish, Persian, Roman, German and American occupations.  After several weeks in Greece, I concluded the secret of their survival is complete confidence that the culture that began there will prevail through time.

What’s the point? That getting out of the daily routine gives us new eyes. It opens possibilities we don’t see in day-to-day life. If I’m struggling with a project, even taking time out for a walk can loosen my mind enough to find the answer.

My team thought the wording of the priority judgmental. They took out “responsibility” and raised the bar from “maintaining” to enhancing. Their proposed priority reads, “Empower more people to enhance their health.” By building on strengths, people can leave stymied life roles behind, and move forward through trust-based relationships.

Of the ten Healthy Polk 2020 goals identified in 2009, this is the broadest, and the only one that addresses lifestyle and behavior. That’s where Switch comes in. It’s by Chip and Dan Heath, authors of Made to Stick, a book I’ve loved, shared, and used as reference for several years. Switch frames research about how change happens around a metaphor of elephant and rider.

All that Priority #8 of Healthy Polk 2020 seeks to change is, well, just the way we take care of our health, not just our physical health. My expert team defined health in broad terms, not just metabolic risk factors or healthy weight, but in terms of mental, spiritual, cultural and financial health. That’s where Thrive comes in.

Dan Buettner has conducted research all over the world, traveling to communities where people live the longest, happiest lives. One result is Thrive. Another is the Blue Zones Web site where it’s easy to spend a chunk of time, learning about yourself, and the things you can do to be healthier and happier. The Expert Team aligned their definition of health with the research of the Blue Zones project, addressing community, flow, meaningful work and other life style choices.

One of the cool things that happened with my Healthy Polk work is that about the same time we were wrapping up our work, Governor Branstad launched the Healthiest State initiative, and Wellmark announced funding for the Iowa BlueZones Project, through which ten Iowa communities will be able to develop tools and programs to live longer, happier lives.

Another gap my team identified was that neighborhoods and communities are not empowered to support and promote health. The action needed to close this gap needs further definition, but the vision is for churches, schools and neighborhood associations to develop networks that support healthy habits. Which is where the third book comes in. Connected explores the profound effect that our friends have on us. The research that caught my eye first is that people who hang out with obese people tend to gain weight. It makes sense, but surprised me nonetheless.

As my team discussed what “more people” meant, they envisioned a ripple effect, beginning with us, and spreading through our community organizations and friends. What do YOU think we need to do to start that ripple? Do you want to be a part of it? Let’s do it!

“I’m going with the flow this trip,” but as we got ourselves un-lost in the unmarked streets in urban New Jersey, and flew along upper levels of the freeway, it was hard to believe my driving skills were up to the challenge. Riding the subway during rush hour on my first trip to NYC in 1976 wasn’t nearly so stressful. Overwhelmed by the crush, a native turned to me, “just go with the flow.”

That’s a very different kind of flow than Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described in his 1991 book, Flow. He heads the Quality of Life Research Center at Claremont University in California. This TED talk is a great introduction to the requirements of flow. A key element of happiness, anyone can experience flow.

We are in flow when we’re completely engrossed in what we’re doing. When the challenge of the task matches our abilities to meet that challenge. It can happen in work or off the job.

It’s our job in adventure programming to create flow. To give participants challenges they can achieve, but that will take them out of their comfort zone. help them suspend disbelief. Eric taught me a lot about the time factor in facilitating. It’s better to end early than even a little late. People won’t stay engaged when they’re worrying about the time. Concluding and reflecting only happen while people are fully engaged.

I always wanting to do what I’m doing until I’m done, to do just one more thing. When we were running late, Kate and I would say time is not only relative, but simply an invention to keep everything from happening at once. Now on vacation in Destin, I have ample time to walk on the beach, kayak, read and paint.

Blue Zones research recommends we designate a “flow room” where we can immerse ourselves in activities that consume our attention. I plan to organize my studio to be the center for painting, sewing and projects that I originally envisioned, rather than the catchall it’s become. The last two days, I’ve painted the jetties, and the row of green umbrellas lining the beach. The first day was stormy at sea, and my painting is stormy too. For me, that painting captures the connection between creativity and flow.

Flow comes when our work makes us happy, contributes to society, and is its own reward. I’ve experienced it writing a grant that fit perfectly the organization’s mission. The feeling the grant was writing itself. I didn’t have to pull at the words like taffy.

When I’m out in my kayak, I totally lose track of time. I’m not distracted. I don’t check the clock. I’m not afraid. I’m exhilarated. That’s flow.

Watching implies seeing, but if you mind something, you do more than just see it. You pay attention. You listen. You ponder what it means. You take responsibility. You mind the children. You mind your parents. The dictionary says you “regard as important and worthy of attention.” That’s exactly what Friend had in mind at “Dancing with the Divine.”

I’ve been practicing yoga at Shakti Yoga Shop for nearly two years. It is an Anusara shop, and John Friend is the founder of this particular branch of yoga. His visit to Iowa was a chance to learn from the guru. I went with a certain cynicism. My expectations were low, but he was amazing, and far exceeded those expectations.

Friend has a quirky sense of humor, and a depth of knowledge about a broad range of astrophysics to zoology. One of the funniest bits was when he gave us a physical demonstration of how humans are the only critters with shoulder muscles. The message was clear. We’ve got them so we need to develop them. He talked quite a bit about what we do with our bodies has a nearly immediate effect on evolution. Our genes remember our behavior.

On that Saturday afternoon, Friend talked about the increasing weight of the self-help book section addressing mindfulness. It’s a good thing, but these books usually focus on minding what you are doing or what’s happening. If you’re minding the gap, you’re paying attention to what’s not happening. On the resting. On the being, not just the doing.

Friday morning when I called my mentor, I was in a dither. The condition of the house was interfering with my serenity in a big way. She told me “go outside. Not to do something, not to make a list of what you need to do, just to be.”

I sat down in my hammock, with my phone still to my ear, and immediately felt the weight lift. Pat said she felt tears come to her eyes, hearing the relief in my voice. I minded the gap. First I had to create it. Then I paid attention to it. I lay down and looked up at the bright blue gap between the Locust and Pin Oak trees above me. And I minded it.

Afterwards I was able to return to the busy-ness of the day, to put things away, organize the house. And I was able to find some more gaps and mind them too.

But it’s not just about doing projects that help communities. For service learning to be valuable to young people as well as to the people they work with, we have to involve them in every step of every project—investigation, planning, action, reflection, demonstration and celebration.

After Global Youth Service Day last spring, Jessica Krough, Melissa Simmermaker of the Iowa Commission on Volunteer Service, and I talked about innovative ways to reflect on the state-wide day of service. We decided to experiment with Internet based radio to bring kids together from different GYSD projects around the state. About eight kids joined me on my show, “We’re Entrepreneurs—we can help.” Three of my Earth Heroes, and two students from the Hoover High School STARS program came to the studio. Two students from Lamoni Middle School and their facilitator joined us by Skype.

The Earth Heroes talked about the ongoing project they’re doing for Global Youth Service Day. Jessica visited the garden, and helped them read the Governor’s Proclamation. They were still clearing the garden, building their dragon, and planting vegetables.

As Kyla, Terrance, I work with the Earth Heroes at the Des Moines Botanical Center, we talk about

• What happened?
• So what?—How did you feel? What did you learn?
• Now what?—What’s next? How can you use this experience in the future?

Here is some of their wisdom—

• “When I’m special, I work really hard.”
• “I didn’t know broccoli grew on a plant.”
• “Digging is fun!”

The Earth Heroes walk down the hill from Boys and Girls Club at Carver Community School to the Botanical Center, and we form a circle. The kids know the FIRST thing we do is the “Name Wave.” The kids lead the Wave, starting with everyone yelling out their name as loud as they can. Then come “compliments and appreciations,” a chance for everyone to say thank you, and talk about what we like.

It’s September, and the 2nd through 5th graders are harvesting squash, pumpkins, watermelon, beans, tomatoes, okra, onions, potatoes, peppers and sunflower seeds to take home. Any gardener knows fall is time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t, what got done, and what didn’t. What was lost? Where did the summer go?

So, they’re taking photos in the gardens, and next week we’ll create a map of each of the 20 ten-foot X 10-foot raised beds, making notes about what grew, crops that worked well together, and what the Heroes learned from experiments with okra, mulching, and fall planting.

Service learning is a powerful way for young people to find relevance in education, dream about the future, and change the world.

Different kinds of birth control have different levels of effectiveness, with even the best being 99%. That looks pretty good, until you realize that even if I do everything right, and plan to have NO children, the odds are I’ll have two babies. I will tell you that, even at 60, these numbers are daunting.

On top of the math, nature has programmed teens to really, really want to have sex. It’s our nature to procreate while we are young. In fact, passing on our genes is our only biological purpose. Just 100 years ago, we could only expect to live 40 years. Lots of babies, and mothers, died in childbirth. No wonder teenagers have sex and babies.

Another issue for me was growing up in a family that didn’t talk about periods, much less s-e-x. I didn’t date in high school, or college really, though I did learn about sex, experientially. Though I prefer hands-on learning, it’s not the best way to learn this particular subject. I do remember a lecture in my sophomore religion class, so we must have had a unit on sex. Sister Mary Alphonse said if you masturbate, you are almost certainly a Lesbian. Though I didn’t know what a Lesbian was, I was sure I didn’t want to be one. I was terrified!

Then, college, the peace movement and “women’s liberation” changed my life. I started working with kids, and suddenly they were asking me questions and confiding in me about sex. So, I learned. I hosted women’s workshops in my tiny house in Cedar Rapids. I taught a very open catechism class for eighth graders. I listened as kids came out to me, and I told them they were ok, and that I still loved them. Even so, I didn’t really understand.

When I came to Des Moines, I began partnering with the adolescent pregnancy prevention coalition. And I began to talk about sex. I began to talk about my own experiences, and eventually I confronted the more painful ones. I talked to kids about their sexuality, and more often I listened. In the process, I became an approachable adult.

Now I’m back in the business of teen sexuality education and pregnancy prevention. I’m working with EyesOpenIowa to develop a peer review process for sex educators. Over the next few months, I’ll share resources for approachable adults. I hope you’ll let me know what you think, and pass the helpful ones on to others. Join me in peeling back our sexy onions.

Patti is the Education Coordinator for Polk County Conservation. Her naturalists have developed programs that engage people from 3 to 93. They’ve developed a series of videos called “Get Outside” that give just enough information to make you actually want to try ice fishing. Or kayaking. Or horseback riding.

Ray has developed a trap shooting program in Ankeny that is expanding to six schools this fall. Listen to the discussion of the benefits of playing outdoors, a variety of opportunities to play outside, and then come out and play with us!

We\’re Entrepreneurs. We Can Help\” Go Out and Play!